March. It happens
every year, no matter how much I mentally try to prepare for it. Every year, right on cue, March signals what
ends up being my toughest homeschooling month of the school year. March is when
I feel totally “done” with the school year. It’s a struggle to keep going, I’ve lost my
momentum, the grading is piling up, we are behind, and I still have a
significant amount of lessons plans to go to before it’s over.
Many moms feel this “third quarter blues,” and my own
struggle with this feeling, year after year, leads me to write this
post. There are some things I have
learned and experienced over the past 19 years of homeschooling that have
helped during these desert times. It is my
hope that in memorializing what I have learned, I can find (and hopefully impart) renewed encouragement and vision to finish the school year strong.
1. A change of place
We all have our routine when it comes to where and when we homeschool. For me, all one-on-one teaching takes place at my desk in the family room. The kids usually end up doing their independent work in their rooms or on a couch. Anytime school involves me, however, it is done at my desk. But on one of “those mornings” as I returned to my bed late in the morning with my second cup of coffee and fuzzy socks, I called my elementary-aged students into my room and announced we would be having a marathon science catch-up session. Yes, we are very behind in science, which I do as a multi-grade subject in elementary school. Everyone, still in pajamas with fuzzy blankets or robes draped around them, clambered onto my bed nestling under the covers, with their science books and notebooks in hand. We read around, with all the able-to-read kids taking a turn, me tackling larger chunks, and the younger ones coloring in their science notebooks and answering questions after each section. We covered a significant chunk of science that day and I also crossed off several days worth of reading lesson plans as well. After all, what is the point of reading, but to read and be able to answer and discuss comprehension questions? That’s exactly what we did, covering two subjects for the price of one, all while enjoying the comfort of my bed and the change of place. For days after, my kids asked if we could do science in my bed again. And for days, we not only caught up in science, but in reading also, as I continued to use this time to count for two subjects.
We all have our routine when it comes to where and when we homeschool. For me, all one-on-one teaching takes place at my desk in the family room. The kids usually end up doing their independent work in their rooms or on a couch. Anytime school involves me, however, it is done at my desk. But on one of “those mornings” as I returned to my bed late in the morning with my second cup of coffee and fuzzy socks, I called my elementary-aged students into my room and announced we would be having a marathon science catch-up session. Yes, we are very behind in science, which I do as a multi-grade subject in elementary school. Everyone, still in pajamas with fuzzy blankets or robes draped around them, clambered onto my bed nestling under the covers, with their science books and notebooks in hand. We read around, with all the able-to-read kids taking a turn, me tackling larger chunks, and the younger ones coloring in their science notebooks and answering questions after each section. We covered a significant chunk of science that day and I also crossed off several days worth of reading lesson plans as well. After all, what is the point of reading, but to read and be able to answer and discuss comprehension questions? That’s exactly what we did, covering two subjects for the price of one, all while enjoying the comfort of my bed and the change of place. For days after, my kids asked if we could do science in my bed again. And for days, we not only caught up in science, but in reading also, as I continued to use this time to count for two subjects.
2. A change of
routine
It sounds dumb, but sometimes just changing up the order in which you do things, or the order of kids in which you homeschool, can bring some newness to your day. I usually start with the youngest student and work my way up. Depending on the child, I usually fall into an unintended rut with the order of subjects we do together. Sometimes the rut is so subtle, I don’t even realize it. But when I sat down with my 2nd grader recently and pulled out math first, he about died. “We NEVER do math first! “ We don’t? So I pulled out all the subjects we do together and told him to set the order. His excitement over that small, insignificant thing changed the whole attitude (his AND mine) for the day. If something that small can make a difference, find other ways to change up the routine. Any added excitement in your students will be infectious and help bust through your own malaise.
It sounds dumb, but sometimes just changing up the order in which you do things, or the order of kids in which you homeschool, can bring some newness to your day. I usually start with the youngest student and work my way up. Depending on the child, I usually fall into an unintended rut with the order of subjects we do together. Sometimes the rut is so subtle, I don’t even realize it. But when I sat down with my 2nd grader recently and pulled out math first, he about died. “We NEVER do math first! “ We don’t? So I pulled out all the subjects we do together and told him to set the order. His excitement over that small, insignificant thing changed the whole attitude (his AND mine) for the day. If something that small can make a difference, find other ways to change up the routine. Any added excitement in your students will be infectious and help bust through your own malaise.
3. A change in
perspective
I admit I’m at a bit of an advantage here. I have already graduated three of my kids from
homeschooling and have the benefit of seeing them out in the real world and
seeing how the whole homeschooling-thing (academically) worked out for
them. And it turns out, brace yourself,
that those last chapters I skipped in science and history in 5th
grade isn’t significantly hindering my oldest’s ability to run her household
and be an effective wife and mother. And
the three year journey to get through Algebra 1 with one of them, hasn’t
stopped her from getting a full time administrative job, enabling her to support
herself and find fulfillment in her calling.
And the half-finished Daily Grams books in various years, hasn’t
prevented honor roll status in post high school education for others. In other words, not every year has to be
perfect. Not every book has to be
finished. Not every lesson plan has to
completed. Particularly in the
elementary years, it is okay to be flexible. You have
so much time to work with, and so much life to live, and so many memories to
make, and so many un-lesson-planned lessons to teach. We all
need to take a step a back and remind ourselves that life is much bigger than
the Scope and Sequence. I’m not advocating
a second-rate education. I am, however,
saying don’t sacrifice your relationship with your family at the altar of
getting through the books. As
homeschoolers, it’s often a fine line that we don’t see we’ve crossed until
they are older and gone. Try to get that
perspective now.
4. A change in priorities
Sometimes the answer is as simple as “no.” There is a tendency in many homeschooling moms I see to over-commit themselves and then find themselves truly in a position where they simply do not have the time to homeschool their children. It’s often gradual, so they don’t see it coming. And when I say “they,” I actually mean “me." You cannot homeschool if you are never home. Nor can you homeschool if you are volunteering your time to too many other projects and activities. Homeschooling takes time. And when I get into these doldrums seasons, I can easily and blissfully devote my time to any and everything but the thing that I most want to ignore. The temptation is great. Being aware of the problem is half the solution. A re-commitment to your priorities is essential. Do what you dread most first and then give yourself permission to do everything else. More than ever, for me, that principle applies to this third quarter. If I just mentally tell myself that school has to be done before I do anything else, before I respond to any other emails, before I clean anything, before I make that phone call, etc., it motivates me to just do it and get it done. Giving someone else permission to hold you accountable is even more helpful. But within that “homeschool first” priority, you may also want to give yourself a break and focus only on the essentials for a couple months. At the beginning of the school year, I tend to go wild with my expectations and excitement with new resources and curriculum helps. By the third quarter, I’m just back to the basics (which varies according to grade level). If you started the year with a supplemental resource, your new priority may be to set it aside until the 4th quarter (or forever). Focus on the important things, do those first and then decide how you really want or need to spend the rest of the day.
Sometimes the answer is as simple as “no.” There is a tendency in many homeschooling moms I see to over-commit themselves and then find themselves truly in a position where they simply do not have the time to homeschool their children. It’s often gradual, so they don’t see it coming. And when I say “they,” I actually mean “me." You cannot homeschool if you are never home. Nor can you homeschool if you are volunteering your time to too many other projects and activities. Homeschooling takes time. And when I get into these doldrums seasons, I can easily and blissfully devote my time to any and everything but the thing that I most want to ignore. The temptation is great. Being aware of the problem is half the solution. A re-commitment to your priorities is essential. Do what you dread most first and then give yourself permission to do everything else. More than ever, for me, that principle applies to this third quarter. If I just mentally tell myself that school has to be done before I do anything else, before I respond to any other emails, before I clean anything, before I make that phone call, etc., it motivates me to just do it and get it done. Giving someone else permission to hold you accountable is even more helpful. But within that “homeschool first” priority, you may also want to give yourself a break and focus only on the essentials for a couple months. At the beginning of the school year, I tend to go wild with my expectations and excitement with new resources and curriculum helps. By the third quarter, I’m just back to the basics (which varies according to grade level). If you started the year with a supplemental resource, your new priority may be to set it aside until the 4th quarter (or forever). Focus on the important things, do those first and then decide how you really want or need to spend the rest of the day.
5. A change in
attitude
The hardest suggestion is probably the most important. If you are negative, frustrated, and undisciplined with homeschooling, your children will be as well. You cannot expect them to carry on and get it done with great attitudes, if you aren’t modeling the same. Enter the three F’s: Feelings Follow Form. My husband introduced this concept in our family many, many years ago and it’s been a theme of ours ever since. We don’t always feel like doing the things we’re supposed to do. But we do them because we must (whether out of obedience, submission, necessity, prudence, etc.). It’s through the process of doing, that our attitudes begin to change. We don’t wait to feel like exercising. We exercise, see results and then our attitude towards exercise begins to change. Don’t wait until you feel like enthusiastically homeschooling your kids. Just do it, fake the enthusiasm, pray for a change of heart and in time the feelings will come. In the meantime, model for your kids what it’s like to do things even when we don’t feel like it. How do you expect or want them to approach their chores or schoolwork when they don’t feel like it? Show them what that looks like!
The hardest suggestion is probably the most important. If you are negative, frustrated, and undisciplined with homeschooling, your children will be as well. You cannot expect them to carry on and get it done with great attitudes, if you aren’t modeling the same. Enter the three F’s: Feelings Follow Form. My husband introduced this concept in our family many, many years ago and it’s been a theme of ours ever since. We don’t always feel like doing the things we’re supposed to do. But we do them because we must (whether out of obedience, submission, necessity, prudence, etc.). It’s through the process of doing, that our attitudes begin to change. We don’t wait to feel like exercising. We exercise, see results and then our attitude towards exercise begins to change. Don’t wait until you feel like enthusiastically homeschooling your kids. Just do it, fake the enthusiasm, pray for a change of heart and in time the feelings will come. In the meantime, model for your kids what it’s like to do things even when we don’t feel like it. How do you expect or want them to approach their chores or schoolwork when they don’t feel like it? Show them what that looks like!
Well, I can’t say I’m now thoroughly motivated, excited and
ready to tackle school for the rest of the year, but I am reminded of some
things that have worked for me in the past and what I need to focus on to get
through tomorrow. That’s a start in the
right direction. I will press on and
continue to trust that God will equip me with what I need to perform this
wonderful calling to which I am called. See
you at the finish line!
Glad it's not just me!! Thanks for the encouragement :)
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